Dear God,

Dear God,
I need your help as I have so many times. If I am honest you have always been there, but I am not allowing myself to feel you and I have not been doing your will and as a result I have really gotten myself into an extreme amount of pain. I can deal with my pain God but as you know I harm others and I cannot continue to do so...should I continue I will die and I will die never having made right any of my wrongs, I will die never having trusted you enough to overcome my fears and truly live. The distance has been my straying, the struggle has been in not being honest with myself and others. I want to attract your love and forgiveness God. I want to be willing no matter what. I want to trudge and work hard God so that I may be able to help others, show kindness and love. I don't allow myself to be loved God, but I need to be loved by you, I need to love you. I don't know if I can do this, but I know if I don't do this than my life will be tragic and meaningless. Help me make it through tonight and in the morning I will pray again. Help me be an adult and get through the day and do the next right thing. Dear God please relieve any and all obsessions that block me from the sunlight of your spirit. Allow me to be present and to be helpful and allow me a brief respite so that I may do my very best in all areas tomorrow. I need your strength. I surrender to you God I surrender to my powerlessness and I am choosing to believe that I may be restored to sanity again.....Thank you God for all the people that love me. Thank you for showing me that I must change. Thank you for the gift of being loved by h3r if only shortly. Thank you for my parents, grandparents, friends. Thank you for Jamie. Thank you for my job and thank you for my life....if it weren't for you I would be dead and would never have the opportunity to contribute to life. Give me your purpose and help me follow it and stay on this path.